Collegification

I know, I know, I'm posting for the second time this week. Sign of the apocalypse for sure. But provided this doesn't somehow trigger the destruction of the world as we know it, maybe you can help me out. While packing up all my stuff to go home, I was thinking about the indications my collegification. So I made a list. A list of the ten biggest things I can think of that hinted at a transformation from high school kid to college guy (I'm not saying I'm a real college guy quite yet, but I'm still trying). Your part in this is to choose which of these you think was the real starting point of my college life. Go ahead and vote on the comments page. Or if you don't want to do that, just...well, who really cares what you do if you're going to be so lazy. Not really, but anyway.....

1. Arriving on campus the first day. This would be the most logical choice in a way. Technically I guess it's the official starting point of my college life. And after the baptism by fire that is orientation weekend, I think any freshman earns at least one stripe. But only one, and it doesn't really mean much to the veteran students.

2. First real time doing my own laundry. I know, this is like admitting that the only person who had ever cut my hair was my mom, or that my mom still set out my clothes for me every day in high school. But it's true, my mom has just always done my laundry. Nothing says "you are now a man" like sorting out your own socks...and looking for that one fugitive...seriously, where can they possibly go?

3. First time staying up until 4 AM writing a paper. From what I hear, the sign of real college talent is seeing how long you can put off a paper before writing it and still turning it in on time. My first experience with such a challenge found me finishing it at 4 AM, about seven hours before class. Of course, with an empty class period preceding deadlines, I was able to cut that down to about 2-3 minutes in later cases.

4. Getting my hair cut independently of my mom and Great Clips. Okay, I guess this actually is really close to only ever having my mom as my barber, but I had my fair share of quick $10 cuts at the mall. What can I say, I'm just a mama's boy. No big deal, there's always someone in the dorm willing to give it a shot for a few dollars. And Leland dorm happens to feature the master of college haircuts, our buddy Geoffrey. Of course I think he only does it as an excuse to stay out of Armitage for one more hour.

5. Realizing I hadn't eaten breakfast in two months. I'm not going to say all guys are as bad as me at this, but it's not that uncommon for us to skip breakfast for that extra 20 minutes of sleep. One of life's greatest mysteries is how girls can get up before 6:00 AM. I'm pretty sure the next day hasn't even started by that time. If you're going to do that, why go to sleep at all?

6. Getting quarters at whatever cost. Everyone knows that the world's greatest dependency problem is not America's thirst for oil. It's the college student's unending need for quarters. I never understood before this year how someone could never, under any circumstances, have enough quarters. But one time this dilemma caused me to do something that truly horrified me. I was so desperate for laundry money that I went to the student center vending machine and bought three bags of chips and two candy bars just to get enough change back to clean my clothes that night. It was then I realized my primal survival instincts were taking over.

7. Ordering pizza after the forbidden time. There comes a point in the adult life when certain types of food - or any food - right before bed will ruin one's entire night of sleep. Thankfully that usually comes after college. Not only can I eat pizza at midnight, I've been hungry enough for it to break rules to get it. But hey, I have to live it up now, because in a few years people will have to listen to my complaining about how that slice of pizza talked back to me all night.

8. Realizing that midnight had become an early bed time. It wasn't like I had never been able to choose when I went to sleep. It was that I had never so consistently failed to get more than 6 hours of sleep. Know why I always went to sleep shortly after midnight? That's when the internet shuts off. If your dictionary doesn't have this under the definition of "pathetic", you need a new dictionary. (try the Microsoft one)

9. Stealing disposable socks from the Nike shoe store. So about that aforementioned sock problem. Everyone encounters it. The normal person goes to the store to buy more socks. What does the college student with no car and little money do? He loads up on disposable try-on socks at a shoe store. No joke, I'm still using them. Hey I can't be the only one to ever do that, can I? Can I?

10. Finishing a class reading assignment right at the deadline. Sounds like a normal accomplishment, but it was a new thing for me. We had to read a couple of books for one of my classes; an easy, run-of-the-mill assignment. It was all due by the end of our final exam period. Naturally I forgot to do so until...our final exam period. No sweat. After finishing my test, I went over to the library, read a book on education, and sent the info to my teacher just before time expired, all within half an hour. Nothing extraordinary for the experienced master, but it's a starting point for me. By next semester I'm hoping to actually be able to bend time and space in dire circumstances like this. Something to work on anyway.